The Kitty Hooch Guarantees

What we guarantee

Why no one else will guarantee their toys

Have you ever seen a satisfaction guarantee on a catnip toy? We haven't. Our research makes it pretty clear to us why. First of all it is generally accepted that, depending on who you ask, around half of cats all are affected by catnip. Lots of people think their cat is not affected. We used to think that and we were wrong. Our customer testimonials page tells the real story. The reason most cats don't respond to catnip toys is not the cat! Quality control is largely absent in commercial catnip production. Occasionally were hear tales of amazing catnip toys made by some little old lady in some community festival or shop that is no longer available. Our methods are so time consuming and expensive and difficult that we are not surprised that it's nearly impossible to find catnip approaching our level of quailty.

Offering a guarantee on catnip toys would mean commercial ventures would run at a loss unless they doubled their prices. Producing catnip of comparable quality to ours would mean commercial growers would have to divest hundreds of thousands of dollars in capital equipment and then spend several times that every year in labor. In a market driven by price instead of value they would instantly be priced out of business!

Why we guarantee our products

We were among those people who thought their cats didn't like catnip! We were dejected by the response our cats had to commercial catnip toys and blamed the cats. As it turns out our cats do like catnip. Not only that, but when we produced ultimate quality catnip toys we found out something surprising. From the reports we've gotten we can only verify less than 1% of our customers having cats that did not respond! Among those cats several have been confirmed to have no sense of smell.

We offer our guarantee because we want you to feel secure in purchasing Kitty Hooch products. As with all the best things in life it costs a little more for quality. Cats know quality. We are committed to providing you and your cat the security that if you buy Kitty Hooch products you will get what your cat wants... the best. We don't want merely satisfied customers. We want thrilled customers!

The Kitty Hooch Response Guarantee

Every Kitty Hooch toy is guaranteed to get a response from your cat or your money back. All you have to do is send the toy back for a full refund. Our new policy is to refund shipping charges up to 75¢ per toy and the full amount of the toy. This guarantee is only for toys and amounts to you paying the return shipping. We will also refund accessories purchased with the toy. All items must be in new condition when we receive them.

What do we mean by a response?

When a cat is aroused by catnip the first thing you notice is their nose begins to twitch. Then they take the toy and they do any number of things including play or run off and hide it. Some cats are self conscious about their humans seeing them make fools of themselves. We have reports from owners of these types of cats that the toy is in a new place every morning. In any event the response is usually more pronounced. In some cases cats will swipe at the toy and in their intoxicated state slash their owner. Our cat Max was like this. We stood back and tossed the toy at him for safety's sake.

What do we mean by favorite toy?

Cats are fickle, but they have a nose for quality. By favorite we mean among any toy in it's class. So stuffed toy to stuffed toy, feather toy to feather toy. There is no accounting for them liking milk jug rings or paper bags, but if you put our toy and another similar toy in front of them we guarantee they pick ours. In fact you'll note they never mess with second best. The exception here is any toy they have developed an emotional attachement to. A favorite teddy bear is unfair competition.

If your cat choses a comparable toy over a Kitty Hooch toy in side by side comparisons, assuming both toys are relatively new, you need to send us information on how to obtain one of the other toys to claim the guarantee.

Our Durability Guarantee

We guarantee our toys are the most durable of their class of toys. So we don't guarantee that our feather toys are more durable than a chain store stuffed toy... even though it most likely is. Our testers have told us our toys hold up at least four times longer than the best commercial toys and many customers have told us they hold up for years. They are of course in love then because they are no longer potent after several years.

If a Kitty Hooch toy comes apart due to a flaw in workmanship we will replace it free of charge. If one of our toys does not hold up as well as another commercial toy we will replace it free of charge. This assumes the toy being compared to is being played with. Obviously if your cat destroys one of our toys as soon as 6 months and has had a commercial toy they haven't played with ever that's a year old that doesn't count. If another toy does outlast ours you need to supply us with infomation on how to obtain one of these toys for verification to claim the guarantee.

Our 110% Toy Guarantee

Kitty Hooch toys have a 110% guarantee on response, favorite toy and durability as explained above. The 110% guarantee also covers shipping to mail the toy(s) back to us. This means you can purchase Kitty Hooch toys in absolute confidence that you are getting the best possible product for your cat. We know of no other manufacturer offering this kind of guarantee.

All of our products are designed with ultimate safety in mind. We guarantee them to be as safe as can be and as safe or safer than any other similar products. That includes:

  • No fiber fill anywhere
  • No exposed elastic
  • No eyes or exterior bells
  • All recycled materials have been washed
  • Our catnip is food grade certified organic
  • Products designed to avoid ingestion issues with loose threads

The Kitty Hooch Catnip Bed Guarantee

We guarantee a response with our catnip in the bed, just as with the toy. We also guarantee your cat will use the bed. Obviously we can't guarantee they use it 100% of the time, but that they will regularly make use of it.

The Kitty Hooch Cat Furniture Guarantees

Along with our six month wear warranty we also guarantee your cat will scratch on any piece that has one or more of our catnip pouches installed. We also guarantee they will use any piece that has a perch. Our products are intereactively designed and your satisfaction is essential. In addition to this we guarantee our tall pieces will not be tipped over by your cat, with the exception of the few designs where we specifically mention stability has been sacrificed for cost considerations. If your cat tips over one of our pieces we will retrofit it at no charge and make any needed repairs. This is providing the reported problem is credible. We do not guarantee children or dogs weighing over 60-80 pounds can use it to play. If you have concerns please voice them so we can help you in your choice.

Our Umbrella Satisfaction Guarantee

If you make a purchase from Kitty Hooch we promise to do whatever we can to answer any questions and insure your satisfaction. If for any reason you and your cat are not satsified with our product then we will do a full refund. You must return the product in new condition and in a timely fashion.

How do I exercise the guarantee?

If you want to take advantage of our ultimate Kitty Hooch guarantee it is easy. Just email Eric with your information and she will give you instructions and answer your questions. We cannot accept returned merchandise without authorization because we need to confirm compliance with the same reasonable conditions any good store would, and we need to be able to investigate any customer dissatisfaction for quality control reasons.

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